Billing itself at a "spiritual Spinal Tap," Tantric Tourists is a faux documentary covering a guru and her 10 students as they travel for two weeks through India, treating the hard-to-simplify country as one big ashram. Its premiere this Friday as part of London's East End Festival even includes a pre-screening tantic warm-up. Wear something slouchy.

The movie trailer's after the jump; the official site is down at the moment.

After more than a 40-year hiatus, a passenger train linking Calcutta in India and Dhaka, the capital of Bangladesh, has resumed service. Service was shut down in 1965 when India and Pakistan were at war with one another. The new train "has been dubbed the Maitreyi, or Friendship, Express." [BBC]

Lali, the baby born with two faces in the northern Indian village of Saini Sunpura near New Delhi, is doing well, her father told the Associated Press. She has been "worshipped as the reincarnation of [the] Hindu goddess," Durga, who represents valor and is typically depicted as having multiple arms. Lali seems healthy and happy, drinking milk from both mouths and blinking all four eyes at the same time. [CNN]

Maqbool Fida Husain, one of India's most renowned artists, just fetched a record price of $1.6 million for one of his paintings at a Christie's auction in NYC. Meanwhile, protesters gathered outside asking that the auction be canceled. Conservative Hindu groups oppose Husain's having painted Indian goddesses in the nude. The 89-year-old maverick, who has made two Bollywood films (neither or which were successful), nearly had paintings seized last year in Bombay as a result of the aforementioned discontent. While he is one of India's eminent artists, Husain is currently believed to be living in the Middle East. [BBC]

Christmas in India! What could be wackier? It's true that Christians make up only a sliver of India's total population. But in some areas, such as parts of Kerala and Goa, on the southwest coast, their numbers may be as high as 20%. Additionally, cities that were once centers of power under the British Raj, including Kolkata (Calcutta), Bangalore, and Chennai, also have fair numbers of Jesus-loving types, and that means garlands, nativity scenes, and Christmas stars are easy to spot in December.

And then there are the plumcakes. For folks in Bangalore at least, it's just not Christmas time if you haven't consumed many, many slices of these richer, heavier, and altogether better relatives of the generally yucky American fruitcake. Full of dark rum, spices, and lots of raisins and other fruit, they may also come with thick, rocklike frosting that's pretty, but a little scary -- go for an unfrosted version unless you think your cake needs the extra protection. Thom's Bakery, Nilgiri's, and Koshy's Restaurant all make good versions.

Of course, Christmas is a semi-secular holiday in much of the West, and this is becoming true in India as well. The always spendy middle class is embracing more and more of the commercial trappings of the holiday. Malls, cell-phone stores, and restaurants sometimes seem to be in a competition to see who can use the most fake snow, pine trees, blinking lights, and cheesy carols to get everyone stirred up with Santa love.

If your travels are going to bring you to India around Christmas and New Year's, be sure to plan way ahead. Lots of Indians as well as foreigners are heading to Goa and other popular resorts, so it's not the best time to try traveling by the seat of your pants. Advance reservations are an especially good idea then, and for plane or train tickets, they're a must.

But what if the thought of escaping from Christmas is more your speed? There are also lots of other places where December 25th comes and goes just like any other day. If that sounds like heaven to you, it can be easily arranged. I spent last Christmas in the backpacker hotspot of Virupapuragadda, a tiny, very Hindu village across the river from the ancient ruins of Hampi. Not only is Virupapuragadda fun to say, but it's also favored by lots of Israeli backpackers. That means loads of dreadlocks, beer, and, er, other substances, but not so much with the tinsel and mistletoe. If you want Christmas to be as good as canceled, head here.

If you want to see the world's most street-savvy monkeys, book your trip to India soon. The government of New Delhi is finally dealing with the city's primate problem, finally fed up with the thousands of critters that have taken over as urban sprawl eats up their habitat.

The catalyst for the crackdown was the late October death of the city's deputy mayor who fell from a balcony fighting off a pack of primates. Though New Delhi has tried for years to eradicate the macaque menace, lack of funds for animal control and devotion from Hindus has kept the population from shrinking. All the while, the animals have been on the attack, biting park-goers, invading hospitals and rampaging through neighborhoods, rich and poor.

So until the city can round up the primates and restore order, what's a New Delhi visitor to do? Animal rights activist Sonya Ghosh has some tips for avoiding trouble:

The only way is to ignore them. Never look a monkey in the eye, never raise your eyebrows at one: it's interpreted as a challenge.

Related Stories:
· Monkeys in The Parks, Monkeys in The Palace [NYT]
· India Travel coverage [Jaunted]
· Animals coverage [Jaunted]

[Photo: Japs - TheGypsy]

"Insider City" is a promotional service of Intercontinental Hotels & Resorts. In conjunction with their stay, hotel guests receive "off-the-beaten-track" private tours and personal guides to events or attractions. It's Intercontinental's way of bringing a sense of authenticity to the luxury vacation so often criticized for its removal from the less-opulent surrounding urban life.

Those paying a visit to The Grand New Delhi have access to a personal concierge who will guide them on a trip through the streets of New Delhi and into the palaces of the Mughal empire in Old Delhi. Lest they bargain unsupervised, the guide helps visitors navigate through the spice markets.

Back at base camp, guests can unwind

Some of us jump on and off flights so often, it's easy to forget that plenty of people might never get the chance to set foot on a wobbly set of aircraft steps. But an enterprising retired Indian Airlines engineer named Bahadur Chand Gupta has come up with a neat solution to help spread the joy of sitting in a cramped airplane cabin eating horrible food.

Gupta bought an old Airbus 300 a few years ago and has now assembled it in a Delhi suburb. Now he, his wife and a few staff pretending to be airline stewards don their uniforms every Saturday for the flight that doesn't fly. They sell tickets for about $4 to people who want to experience life on an airplane but can't afford to get airborne.

Gupta makes pilot announcements (including turbulence warnings), his wife and friends serve airplane food and push their trolleys up and down the aisles and the plane goes nowhere. It's better that way: The aircraft's missing a wing and half its tail. But that doesn't stop the enjoyment. We're wondering if they make the experience more authentic by throwing in the odd vomiting passenger or screaming child.

Related Stories:
· Tickets Take Off, Plane Stays Put [news.com.au]
· Don't Catch a Plane, Pull It [Jaunted]
· Travel Stories in New Delhi [Jaunted]

[Photo: Keenan Pepper]

A decommissioned Boeing 737 that was being towed through Mumbai five days ago has been abandoned on a busy street, the BBC reports. Apparently the driver reached an impasse in the road and simply took off, leaving the fuselage behind. It was reportedly being transported to a flight school with its wings and tail removed. While some are angry, others see the plane as an intriguing new tourist attraction. Here’s the real kicker: “The driver has not been seen since and no-one is assuming responsibility for the 737.”

Here at the Planet Theme Park desk, it’s hard to keep up with all the projects in the works, but we try. In the latest news, a $100 million Bollywood theme park is planned for the Indian city of Mumbai—or Bombay if you’re a certain UK newspaper apparently still in denial about that whole name change thing that was so 1995.