Normally I love contests. For the past five years I have been participating in the HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes, logging on every day and submitting my entry despite overwhelming odds. It was a routine I would do when I got to work: Get my coffee, check my email, enter to win a multi-million dollar house, dream of moving to some place like Lake Lure, NC or St. Mary’s, GA. Go to bed, wake up, repeat.

Obviously I haven’t won yet otherwise I wouldn’t have time to write these articles. I’d be so busy loving life and taking my success for granted. But, despite every inspirational Denzel Washington movie, essential to the human condition is the notion that we can get something for nothing. That we can “win.” Which is why I’m writing this article.

I was in Borders the other day perusing the travel section when I saw an advertisement for the Lonely Planet Trip to Italy sweepstakes. To enter all you have to do is express, in 25 words or less, why you want to go to Italy. And if you write 25 better words than everyone else, you win. It’s that simple.

Now, I write a lot. I love words, and I like to think I’m pretty good (well?) with them. So, since I just got back from Italy myself and will wait to fly back when there are new movies on international flights, I figured I would write few entries for you, the reader, to submit. 25 words may not be a lot, but if you are economical you can convey a wealth of information and emotion. Good luck.

The Pragmatic Entry

I should win because I am a good person. I once performed CPR on a baby seal. I am a Democrat. My wife is paralyzed.

The Sympathetic Entry

The only thing I want before I die is to see Italy. I visited a tarot card-reader; she said I have two months left, tops.

The Impassioned Entry

I have nothing to live for except Italy! The olive fields call my name! My name is Isabel! Which is Italian, if you didn’t know!

The Threatening Entry

You motherf%&kers better make me the winner or I’m going to find out where you live and where your children go to school. I’m crazy!

The Entry My Girlfriend Wrote

Brooke’s so pretty. Like a princess. They have princesses in Italy. She deserves to go there. Cause she’s always right. Always RIGHT. Like a genius.

The Brief Entry

Winner!

The Nepotisimo Entry

Non sono stato in Italia dalla mia madre morta quando ero giusto un bambino. Faccio male per vedere la mia patria. E la mia sorella.

[Translation: I haven’t been to Italy since my mother died when I was just a baby. I ache to see my homeland. And my sister.]

- by Dan Murphy of [redacted] fame