I’m a firm believer that the true test of any relationship (platonic or romantic) is surviving traveling together. You don’t really know someone until you’re thrown on each other’s sole company for days, living in close quarters with his or her quirks, habits and shortcomings. But traveling as a couple is really a trial by fire. Nothing can take the glow off a trip that’s supposed to be idyllic faster than watching your significant other morph into a micro-manager, germaphobe, or expert in stereotypes when their comfort zone is challenged. Some people’s idea of a perfect trip is maxing out at the hotel, lingering over meals, and generally doing as little as possible, while others won’t be happy unless they’re making the most of every minute they’re away from home. But without a little discussion beforehand, you might not find these things out until you actually get to your destination, and then, woe betide you. So, in honor of Valentine’s Day and the many couples who may be stepping out of the frying pan on their first trip together, here’s some food for thought:

– Backpacker guru Rolf Potts, in his most recent Yahoo column, weighs-in with ten factors all couples traveling together should consider, including the very key number five, The Space Factor: “Do you expect to spend every moment of the trip together, or can you be independent of one another as a couple? Are you both prepared to deal with constant companionship? Should too much time together become tedious, can you both empathetically communicate the need to be solitary for a few hours?”

– For a look at how an actual couple on the road dealt with these issues, check out Elizabeth Koch’s “World Tour Compatibility Test” at Memoirville. Elizabeth and her boyfriend Todd Zuniga, both editors of Opium, a literary humor magazine, went around the world together as a way to decide whether their relationship was at an end, or, if they should move in together. In 10 installments, Koch chronicles the trip in refreshingly honest detail, but I won’t spoil the cliffhanger for you.

– Hannah Betts at the London Times, however, claims to have had a bust-up in pretty much every romantic destination out there, and is sick of the whole process. Her advice? “Valentines? Paah, travel alone”.


Previously:
– “The Map: Valentine’s Day”