Normally I love contests. For the past five years I have been participating in the HGTV Dream Home Sweepstakes, logging on every day and submitting my entry despite overwhelming odds. It was a routine I would do when I got to work: Get my coffee, check my email, enter to win a multi-million dollar house, dream of moving to some place like Lake Lure, NC or St. Mary’s, GA. Go to bed, wake up, repeat.

Obviously I haven’t won yet otherwise I wouldn’t have time to write these articles. I’d be so busy loving life and taking my success for granted. But, despite every inspirational Denzel Washington movie, essential to the human condition is the notion that we can get something for nothing. That we can “win.” Which is why I’m writing this article.

I was in Borders the other day perusing the travel section when I saw an advertisement for the Lonely Planet Trip to Italy sweepstakes. To enter all you have to do is express, in 25 words or less, why you want to go to Italy. And if you write 25 better words than everyone else, you win. It’s that simple.

Now, I write a lot. I love words, and I like to think I’m pretty good (well?) with them. So, since I just got back from Italy myself and will wait to fly back when there are new movies on international flights, I figured I would write few entries for you, the reader, to submit. 25 words may not be a lot, but if you are economical you can convey a wealth of information and emotion. Good luck.

The Pragmatic Entry

I should win because I am a good person. I once performed CPR on a baby seal. I am a Democrat. My wife is paralyzed.

The Sympathetic Entry

The only thing I want before I die is to see Italy. I visited a tarot card-reader; she said I have two months left, tops.

Who says Americans aren’t bilingual? I just discovered that in addition to English, we also speak damn fine Globish. That’s right, Globish.

Never heard of it? Well, if you speak English, believe me, you speak Globish. Granted it’s dubbed a ‘constructed’ language and not a ‘natural’ one, but still…

The language was formalized by a Frenchman – a former exec for IBM who had spent some time working and living in the States – in an effort to create a simplified version of English that foreigners could learn to speak among themselves. There are 1,500 words in Globish, most of which anyone with an elementary education (even those children left behind) should know.

The reason I know this is because the Frenchman’s tome is our classroom textbook in my weekly Globish class in Biarritz. In an effort to meet people and improve my French, I signed on to help a group of septuagenarians (Biarritz is a major retiree community) wend their way through Globish. In exchange, they give me free French lessons. They call it exchange de saviors (knowledge exchange) – I call it a win-win situation all around.

The women are real characters…

Everyone I have ever met who has a motto has been a dick, which is why I don’t have one. But if I did have one, it would be, “Spend less, get more.” (Now imagine me saying, in the course of conversation, “Well, my motto is ‘Spend less, get more.’ Yeah – dick.)

But as a philosophy, this one works pretty well. I’m not suggesting you be cheap; I’m just saying that in this modern industrial age there are entire companies devoted to giving you more for less. Frankly, it’d be irresponsible to ignore them. And one of the sexiest industries putting this motto into practice these days is the low cost airline.

Of course, it all started with JetBlue and their revolutionary idea to integrate satellite TV into the entertainment systems at every seat. Suddenly, you weren’t stuck watching the latest B-grade romantic comedy on a small screen suspended from the ceiling three rows ahead of you. You could watch that B-grade romantic comedy on TBS in the privacy of your own seatback. It made flying fun again.

Now comes the new Virgin America. After three years of planning, the service was finally unveiled last week, and it was worth the wait.

Virgin America is like JetBlue on steroids (the good kind the doctor prescribes, not the bad kind the baseball players take). Among the new in-flight entertainment features that go over and above other low-cost carriers are the following:

Televisions at every seat (with an actual program guide).

You know how you flip through the channels on JetBlue and try to figure out what channel it is by what is playing (e.g. If “Law & Order” is on you know it’s TNT)? But if a commercial is playing you have to skip it and come back? Well how about an actual programming guide, just like with regular TV.